Discussing happiness across cultures

‘It’s only reasons for happiness that we have, but not happiness itself.’ 幸福的理由和幸福本身

Last Wednesday I attended a Chinese symposium. It was under the guise of a gathering of friends come together to practice their English, but really it offered an incredible platform for discussion. I met Nick and Hannah, the Chinese couple that organizes and hosts this English corner at an experimental dance performance the weekend before. I found myself sitting next to Hannah during the performance and when we had to change seats to view the dance from another angle, we stuck together. (This dance performance is another exciting event and potential new community but for another post)

Hannah, shortly after meeting her extended the offer for me to join their English corner. Every Wednesday night, Nick thoughtfully and carefully plans a topic for discussion. I think it is helpful to repeat his principles to get a sense of the expectations for the evening: seek truth by relying and building on each other's perspectives; "use a kindly tongue"; seek unity in diversity, it is through diversity that we can enrich our thinking, and take action, words should bear fruit.

This week's conversation was on happiness: ‘It’s only reasons for happiness that we have, but not happiness itself.’ My initial impression of this topic lead me thinking about our attachment to people and things that make us happy, and those emotions our external world creates in us. We could afford to think about how to make our selves internally stable. For the past couple of years, I've been thinking about what it means and takes to find sustainable happiness. Why for some reason we doubt that possibility or treat the problems and symptoms but don't address a road map to finding joy. I've been trying to develop a lifestyle that seeks daily satisfaction, and here in China I found a group of ten Chinese people trying to communicate the same goals.

I was impressed by the way each individual articulated a positive ideology on life. Everyone spoke candidly and no one harbored a latent desire for material possessions to bring about happiness. Everyone agreed that external belongings were simply not sustainable. Health and movement were decidedly inextricable for happiness. We recognized that life is dynamic and in constant flux so we must be able to adapt and change ourselves and mindsets. I say this often, but we create our own reality and choose to see how changes can be positive. We discussed the power of connections with people and our environment; how we seek to feel bonded and close to our surrounding. There is nothing like feeling trusted, loved, and respected. And the power of giving back- it fills us with so much warmth and satisfaction.

I could continue to summarize but there is no way to succinctly put into words a two hour discussion. I just wanted to share a little of an amazing night and an important conversation that I regularly have with myself.